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December 17th, 2009
09:24 pm
I have had the most bizarre day.
Details later, mayhaps. Sobriety in question.
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December 9th, 2009
01:08 am - Moral Orel
There will be three to four occasions in my life where I say that it is fucking cold. Let this be the first; it is fucking cold here in Moscow. This fact is compunded by the lack of decent insulation in this house, which is fine for the most part, except that my room is cold enough to store ice cream. I still love this place, and it's only been this and the last night where I was significantly inconvenienced, but fuck me, I'm freezing. Me. Freezing. This is only supposed to happen when I've been camping in -20º weather.
Anyway, I'm pretty ready for the end of this semester. As usual, I am excited to be coming home again, though I'm torn between a primitive urge to party and the older, wiser part of me telling me that I'm better off without. Alex has a new pad though, and it sounds not too bad. What's more, I need to bond with my brother more; we stand the chance of being like normal brothers, or at least having a relationship with substance. Maybe.
I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and thought about how I'm 22 years old. It's time to stop feeling like I'm 12. I had that thought without the standard "How weird is that?" context. I can't tell you how good it felt.
I'm not really an adult though, but I'm not a child either. I don't think I'll ever be an adult, and I'll never be a child again, but I'm more and more confident that being wise means somewhere in between.
Seeing as I'm dangerously close to growing too sentimential, let me reiterate: It's fucking cold.
Two out of four down.
Current Music: Leave Your Boyfriends Behind-Leona Naess
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December 3rd, 2009
04:42 pm - Disjoint thoughts.
I cannot convey how unbelievable screwed I am.
And yet, I'll probably end up just fine.
Bought an overcoat today at Ross for $40, down from $250. I like it, to say the least.
I play too many video games. Shock!
I need to exercise more; I'm starting to grow a gut and that is frightening. Eating less is probably a good idea as well.
This paper is not going to write itself. Damn. I don't think I'm going to write it well either.
Current Mood: Blargh.
Current Music: The Simple Truth-Tsunami Bomb
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November 28th, 2009
November 25th, 2009
11:15 pm - I am this amazing
How amazing?
This amazing.
Humility be damned.
Current Music: I am the one (reprise) - Next to Normal
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November 19th, 2009
11:21 pm
What's the last song you heard?
Heavy like Sunday - Leona Naess
Can you jump rope without falling over?
Sure.
Would you ever dress up as a garbage can?
I've dressed up in garbage bags, I could go a step further.
Who did you last speak to?
Kabil
Were you alone on your last birthday?
I had family around, and then many friends and drinks the following day.
Are you an aunt or an uncle?
I get the feeling that I'll be a father first, but who knows what the future may hold.
Do you just hate winter?
Absolutely not. I love for exactly the same reasons everyone seems to hate it.
Who did you last call a hooker?
I don't know if I've ever called anyone a hooker, though I've called many a lady of the evening.
Did anyone brighten up your day today?
Well, not really, no.
When did you last bake something?
Months ago.
Did you have any homework today?
Did it this morning minutes before class.
How are you feeling right now?
Incidental, but I'll get over it.
What is your favorite color in the whole wide world?
The exact shade of green as sitka spruce.
Are there always consequences for your actions?
In terms of negative consequences, only internal to myself.
Can you commit to one person and one person only?
In the sense that you mean, I don't see it happening any other way. But that shouldn't exclude everyone else from my life.
Have you ever been kicked out of class?
I've never been a trouble maker.
Would you ever consider becoming a police officer?
Vaguely, but I don't think I'd be happy.
Are you really cold right now or are you warm?
I'm at a good core temperature.
Is it easy for you to get sick?
Sometimes, it seems like it, but I've scarcely been sick this entire year.
What are you listening to?
Silence, originally, but now all the neighbors are drunk, rowdy, and noisy.
Was your first day of school scary?
Ever? Nerve-wracking, yes, but I wouldn't call it scary.
What is the last beverage you consumed?
A glass of cheap ($8) bordeaux.
Do you enjoy donuts?
Most certainly.
Are you easily scared by scary movies?
Not tremendously, no.
Was today a great day?
It was sub-par, but not altogether terrible. The Opera/Musical scenes were quite good.
Have you ever ridden a horse?
Once. I enjoyed it a little bit.
What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Seeing my little sister and brother.
Are you wearing jeans right now?
I so rarely do.
Would you rather be mad or sad?
Sad, because being mad frightens me.
Is the last person you kissed older than you?
I've never kissed anyone older than me.
Do you have any tan lines?
I used to have a farmer's tan, but it's been several months since summer and I think it's faded.
Do you like your parents?
They are great people and I'm quite fortunate to have been born by them.
Are you stressed out? If so, why?
I'm stressed out entirely by my own inept personal life.
Who sits by you in math class?
Generally Andrea and some girl who never says anything.
Who sits by you in english?
I haven't taken English since lit. theory freshman year.
Think of the first person you kissed in 2009, do you hate them now?
There was one person I kissed in 2009 and I do not hate her at all.
Do you still talk to them?
I haven't seen or heard from her since this summer. She is in Croatia now, after all.
Who was the last person to IM you?
Nikita.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Absolutely nothing.
Are you alone right now?
Yes. Not uncommon.
Has anything happened today that you wish hadn't?
Nothing bad happened today.
The last time you were in a car, where were you going and with who?
With Kev and Connie coming back from Troy.
The closest thing to you is what color?
This computer is white, but otherwise the chair in which I am seated is brown.
Muffin or brownie?
Brownie's are tasty, but a good muffin can take me away.
Are you sitting, lying down, or standing?
Sitting.
Can falling in love change a person?
Dangerously, if one isn't careful. A little change is good, but drastic changes simply reek of delusion.
Current Mood: Forgotten.
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November 16th, 2009
06:56 pm - Oy vey
My computer is nearly kaput. I need a job so that I can afford things in life. Maybe I'll get ahold of one of those tiny netbooks which are relatively inexpensive. Alas. Still, I'm finding that I spend my time at least marginally more productively when my computer's not around. Maybe I should get a desktop and maintain a practice of not turning it on terribly often. Maybe.
I finished a test and a presentation today, so I'm glad that those two are out of the way. Advanced calculus is still going to kill me Wednesday.
[edit] The problem is with my charger. I suspected as much.
Current Music: Under the boardwalk - the drifters
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November 13th, 2009
11:24 pm - Our last summer as independents, do you remember?
I wonder if there's an alternate version of me in some parallel universe that leads a very exciting life and has a pair.
Gah, sorry to be so self-pitying.
I am going to do something tomorrow, maybe involving one or more additional people, but I can't be certain. I am tired of Friday nights with nothing to do but either get drunk for no reason or sit alone at home. Uy.
Current Music: An Eluduarian Instance - Of Montreal
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November 12th, 2009
01:46 am - Oh dear god
So I drummed up this super-cool alter-ego of myself and put it up on hotornot.com. So far, 9.6.
If ever there was a good reason to quit women, this would be it. Oh my but am I ever having a good time with this. That line, "but as you can see I have my wild side too." just gets me every time. Also that 'God' and 'Guns' are right next to eachother in the interests.
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November 11th, 2009
02:20 am - I just want to emote til I'm dead
I wonder if I'm too interested in the lives of other people. Every so often I'll find myself on a chain of facebook-stalking that leads me to a person who I've certainly seen around but know absolutely nothing about. Sometimes they'll have a link to a blog.
And that's my evening.
There's some security in knowing that my human experience isn't entirely different than those of other people; I think that's a large part of the draw. There's also some smug sense of satisfaction when I follow an English major's blog and notice that it's full of spelling and grammar errors, but that's a different story. But it does help me shy away of my greatest anxiety: that I'm just completely different from other people. Sometimes I try and mask that anxiety by taking pride in being different, but I'd so much rather just fit in. That's not to say that I'm an outcast, that I'm ostracized from society; nay, I get along with people quite well, but I never seem to click with people, save for the select few people who have been my friends for ages. I feel like the world is organized into cliques and I'm destined to be the wallflower.
So reading other people's blogs makes me feel a little less weird, a little less different, and I take comfort in that. But it's a completely artificial feeling, and it does nothing to help me overcome my crippling social anxiety.
Ah well.
Something less serious.
( Old myspace surveys, Whoooo )
Current Mood: meh
Current Music: Suffer for fashion - Of Montreal
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November 9th, 2009
04:14 am - Win
I just spent the last half-hour rejecting facebook ads and writing sarcastic explanations in the "other" category. God, I hope someone reads those personally and has a sense of humor. Otherwise, this has been a complete waste of a half-an-hour. Because it wouldn't be, otherwise, right?
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November 3rd, 2009
01:38 am - Reminiscent of myspace surveys
( Stole this from Misty )
Current Music: The Verb-The Swell Season
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12:55 am - Bonjour a tout, he regresado al internet
I've got to conquer these shy bones of mine some day. Just saying.
Halloween was interesting. Most of my plans came crashing down on my head and I didn't see most of the people I'd hoped to, but it was fun nevertheless. Between Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I must have drunk enough alcohol to kill a large horse.
On Thursday, we had a small wine and cheese affair here at the homestead which went well. Between five of us (and for a while, six), we demolished about five whole bottles of wine and half each of a further four. 'Twas indeed a good night, though I certainly didn't get much studying done for my bio test early Friday morn, and it showed. I got a 65... uff. Maybe I should go to that class at least once every other week.
On Fridaylike, G-unit held his birthday party, which was relatively tame save for me. I had the greater part of a punch bowl full of margarita as well as a beer, a roman coke, and a white russian. Wasn't too bad, but his place looks even worse than it did back in the days when I lived there. Carpet needs a good vacuuming too. Really, there's not much going on at that place at the moment.
On Halloween of course, it was a night for drinking. Before the night even began I had three gins and tonic as well as a beer before setting off for the night, wherein I drank more than my fair share of boozahol. Sarah was in town, but I never quite saw her. Jamie was drunk and away from her phone, so I didn't see her either. A party brewed over at my place, but I didn't recognize anyone there, so I left. In the end, I spent the entire night with Jake and his girlfriend. Originally, we were to go to a party, but it got cancelled so we hit the bars, than a different party, than back to the bars. All in all, lots of alky. Then Jake and his lady had a bit of a spat, which was unfortunate, but it's not really my place to mingle in these matters.
Sunday, I sat around and contemplated the weekend.
Today, I made it to a record four of five classes and was fully prepared for all of them. Quite proud of meself, I am. Then I got home and proceeded to have two glasses of wine and do nothing for the rest of the day. Woo. Hopefully, I'm not becoming an alcoholic. That would be terrible for my already somewhat flabby form. Methinks a trip to the gym is in order.
And of course, as usual, I've got my head all caught up over a girl but haven't the good sense to ask her out on a date or even tell her I like her. Go me. Seems to happen a fair amount.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sad.gif) Not quite totally sure
Current Music: Heavy Like Sunday-Leona Naess
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October 12th, 2009
04:34 pm - Maybe not, cause I have shrunk
I've got a good feeling.
Current Music: Jens Lekman
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October 6th, 2009
03:35 pm - Spending money is easier than saving it.
( More records that I own )
[edit]
I recall making a list of cds like this when I first got a livejournal. In fact, here it is. I'd like to pretend I never owned a Yellowcard or Jet album, let alone Maroon 5, but what's done is done and I can't change the past.
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October 1st, 2009
12:43 pm - Whelp
Record player came in today. I am quite pleased. I may go to the record store and drop a couple of monies I don't have in celebration.
It was a bit of a rough start getting it set up. The instructions were a little more vague then I would have like, but a bit of mental reasoning saw me to victory. And now I am listening to records instead of going to Cognitive Psychology or even studying for one of my two tests tomorrow.
I am now 25 more points up on the pretentious-asshole scale. Oh yes. Soon I will address the commonfolk as peasants and sip on nothing but the finest of wines, discussing Sartre, Wundt, and Günther.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/happy.gif) One could say happy, if they so pleased.
Current Music: I want to be alone - Vashti Bunyan
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12:54 am - My life is maybe below average.
My life is actually probably pretty swell. Hell, it is. I'm just no less socially incompetent.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Sometimes I think I loathe people perhaps far too easily, but then lo and behold they go ahead and prove that I loathe people not nearly easily enough. I worry that after college, I am going to share my workplace with the same people that think a good time is getting wasted drunk every weekend. Ugh. Somebody who has lived life tell me this is not so. Please.
Well, if only for the time being, I am still touched by a sort of stupid optimism that life will be better when I have a job and am living on my own terms.
In internet-related news, Scary Go Round ended some weeks ago. That was saddening; the comic has by and far the best character development I've seen in any sort of comic, web or otherwise. My favorite character, of course, is Ryan, who has made a reappearance in the new comic by The Englishman, set three years in the future. I am excited. Nobody else probably cares, but I am excited at the prospects.
Also, I have come into possession of a rather nice professor style jacket. It's not quite tweed, but it will do. Maybe it is time to start expanding my wardrobe.
If I go to the gym again tomorrow, it will break my record for number of times gone to the gym in a week. It will set a new record at three.
Current Music: Let's Spend The Night Together-The Rolling Stones
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September 15th, 2009
02:11 pm - A few things, methinks.
( Records I own )
Conclusion: I am good with frugality.
I really need to hang out with more women. That's not to say I don't enjoy the company of Rob, Kevin, and Kabil, but I am suffocating a little bit. This lack of female company is trying, to say the least.
Kevin's judgmentalism has been bothering me increasingly more these days. Not all the time, but some of the things he says really get to me. For instance, we went to Spokane on Saturday and ended up getting some food at the food court in the mall. Our cashier was a high school girl and was being friendly, asked a few questions about college and briefly mentioned that she wanted to get her premed after college. So we get our food and go sit down, and Kevin bluntly states: "She's not going to get her pre-med." He makes a few arguments, but the point he rests on is that there are no explicitly unattractive doctors. What? He also brought up how she mentioned that she enjoyed her job, which Kevin interpreted as that she would be in fast food her entire life. He does not seem to be able to grasp that other people have life experiences vastly, -vastly- different from his own. If he was joking, it would be one thing, but he was quite serious. Gah.
Kabil is still struggling with his breakup. To some degree, it's almost verging on pathetic. Kevin and Rob are convinced he's long past that point, but I'm either less callous or more naive, because even if the relationship looked like a joke from the outside (and admittedly, it did), it obviously felt a lot more real to Kabil and thus this breakup , which overjoyed Kevin and Rob, is almost certainly destroying this poor lad.
Current Mood: Ehh
Current Music: Ten Duets-Peter Broderick
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August 30th, 2009
06:04 pm - Hrmm.
Just watched Paprika. It was alright, pretty enough, but it wasn't much more than show. That's generally fine, mind you; Hayao Miyazaki makes some gorgeous movies with no deep meaning to them that are definitely worth watching, but Paprika felt too much like Millenium Actress; an interesting concept (sort of; dreams are by no means new) but with a lackluster plot attached to it. Ah well. Falls into a lot of anime-clichés, like the power-hungry cripple-ceo, bullshit science where no explanation was -really- needed, and more than one stereotypical character.
Anyway, still better than this gem.
So it's good to be back in Idaho, and good to have internet again as well. A few minor beefs about this place I'm in now, but for the most part, it's sweet. We'll see how it holds up in winter.
I still haven't decided whether I'm getting more mature every year or freshmen just suck more and more. I'm leaning towards the latter; I haven't felt my stomach want to heave this badly since Tuesday night before I left. Tuesday was a very drunk night.
Classes are entertaining enough. I feel like an idiot retaking these math classes though. I'm going to have to be careful to resist the temptation to skip, because I've heard all of this material somewhere before...
What else... Got sick Thursday, and only just today feel better. Thursday, all my muscles were sore as hell, then Friday, I was congested to all hell, then Saturday I managed to condense everything into a sore throat. Good fun.
Riley came down to visit. That was enjoyable; haven't seen that kid really since High School. We's also been spending more time with Connie, especially since she lives -right- behind us. She graduates in December.
Vale vale vale. I have spent over a thousand dollars in the week and a half I have been here.
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August 15th, 2009
04:02 pm - Oggi. No wait, not oggi, ma in quattro giorni.
Well, it's getting to be that time again. I'm leaving Wednesday to be back in the 'scow on Wednesday.
Don't get me wrong, I am verily excited, but I am, as always, going to miss people. Was talking to Sherrod the other day, and I vaguely mentioned how I would be leaving soon, and he started to cry.
I'm also going to miss many a work-folk. It has been an interesting year, and there have been good times had. Ah well. I will be back in Juneau again, though probably not back at Taku.
Ah hell. I'm tired of being torn between two places. I should just settle down somewhere already.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/confused.gif) Pensive
Current Music: New York New York - Reel Big Fish
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